What the Other Mothers Know About... Baby Showers

The “other mothers” know all sorts of things. They know that preschool enrollment begins when the pregnancy test strip changes color. They know that bringing the little league coach a Starbucks latte will get their 7-year-old spaz onto the field. And they know that the principal can’t tell the difference between the school’s $30 polo shorts and the $5 ones.

Items your baby will need:

• The Diaper Genie. This miraculous invention proves once and for all that God is a Mom.
• Swings and bouncy seats. These are ideal for keeping a little one occupied and safe while you perform some task nearby; and the rocking motion can soothe colic.
• Baby monitors. Every woman should have at least two sets, and one for her husband, too.

Items your baby will not need:

• The electric wipes warmer. Unless raising a total wuss is why you became a mother.
• The electric bottle warmer. What, do you think a starving baby will just sit there chatting patiently with you while the thing heats up?

Other things you need to know about shower gifts:

• Always save the receipts -- and the boxes. We guarantee that you’ll buy or receive at least one item that doesn’t work, one outfit that’s too small, and something that just doesn’t work out for your baby, and you’ll need to take it back to the store.
• If you receive duplicates of any items, don’t take them back just yet. You might decide after the baby comes that having two bouncy seats -- one for upstairs and one for downstairs -- is ideal. If money isn’t a concern it’s always better to have two of everything, especially for backup when something breaks.
• Don’t laugh at that package of cloth diapers your tree-hugging friend gives you even though you’ve told her you’re going to use disposables. Cloth diapers can be used a thousand different ways: to protect your ‘burping shoulder’; to dab at messy mouths; to clean up spills; as a makeshift bib; as a pad for the baby’s head or tush when changing diapers away from home; and, when the baby has outgrown them, you’ll find that they make the best dust cloths ever.